his hope

i graduated high school twelve years ago on father's day, june 2000.

a few weeks before i graduated, my a.p. lit teacher gave us one final assignment: have people close to us write us letters in the present that she would mail to us when we graduated college in may of 2004.

that june, a week before i graduated, my father wrote me a letter. he didn't know then that life would turn out so differently than any of us hoped or imagined. none of us knew then that in fifteen months, my dad would go to work on a random tuesday morning, and die in the twin towers. so it was precious and haunting when i received a packet of letters in may 2004 - a few weeks before i graduated from berkeley.

i had forgotten about these letters until they arrived on my doorstep. as i held this pile of letters in my hands, time stood still. and i remembered that my dad had written me a letter four years earlier. but really it was a lifetime ago wasn't it? it was frightening at first. what would this letter say? would it be enough, his final words to me? would this letter be trite, just everyday conversation because back then we thought we had so many more every days left.

here is an excerpt from his letter to me:

"Finally, I will continue to pray for you every day, that the Lord will guard your heart above all things, for out of it are the issues of life. i will miss you while you are 3000 miles away. Love, Dad"

turns out, it is for every day, but it is not trite. it was all his hopes for me, all he wished for my life. it is still what he hopes for me, and still what he wishes for my life.

these words resonate with me today. my faith is the single greatest gift my dad gave to me. as i become more like my mother with every passing day, it's nice to know there's a little bit of my dad in me too.

so happy father's day to all the dads who are always with us. and happy father's day to a special dad who has never ceased praying for me and never ceased missing me.