upstairs, no downstairs and the derecho effect

so life according to my new obsession, downton abbey, goes something like this: the rich family lives upstairs, and rarely, if ever ventures downstairs, where the servants gather and work.  the carlsons do not have a downstairs, which means we do not have servants which is oh so unfortunate. the past few days would have been the perfect time, or at least, no less perfect than, you know, ALWAYS, to have servants.  for those not in the washington, dc area, a derecho blew through late friday night and wiped out power and therefore electricity and ac for the carlsons for three lovely, over 100 degree days. along with taking down trees and power lines, somehow, this derecho got into our apartment and destroyed what was otherwise a spotless, clutterless home. and left this in its wake.

did anyone else's apartment get caught in the direct line of this derecho's fire? such an interesting effect of the storm no?

so you see, today, i really think it would be wonderful to have servants, especially because tomorrow is a holiday and i can't be bothered with cleaning up after a storm's mess. and then it dawns on me, we do have servants. their names are david and grace. sigh. now here is when i wouldn't mind being mary crawley. carson, anna, help!!!

p.s. let's not pretend that downton abbey isn't anything more than a slightly glorified soap opera and glorified only because of its fabulous costumes and british accents. but hey, i'll take it! 

lessons learned

consider this post a "how to" guide of sorts on your future visits to boston.

1) when planning a trip to boston from d.c., the number one thing you will need: good friends to travel with you.

2) when going with good friends, and you geniusly decide to take the eight hour amtrak ride, do not take the 315 a.m. out of dc. you may think it's a good idea because you think you'll be able to sleep through the night and arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 1115 a.m. ready for your boston adventure. well you won't, because the train will be freezing and the bright lights will remain on for the entire ride. do these people look bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to you?

3) if you are from california and have moved away, you will most certainly be starved for mexican food. you will be snobbish about how the only place you can get good mexican food is california. (well, and mexico). but you will be humbled in the city of boston. go to angela's cafe.  we stumbled on this treasure, and learned that guy fieri visited recently and it will be featured on the food network. or go to burrito express for a $3.99 breakfast burrito that is delicious.

4) definitely do the freedom trail. you will see amazing parts of u.s. history. here is a sampling.

5) go to a baseball game at fenway park. just trust me on this. even if you do not like baseball. i do not like baseball, and i may or may not have taken a quick five minute cat nap during the third inning, but there's something about being at fenway park. it's the oldest baseball park in america, and as you sit there, you feel the richness of its history sink into your bones.

6) go to mike's pastry and get a canoli. any one of them. and you too can have this look of absolute culinary bliss.

7) if it's a dreary, rainy day while you're visiting boston, there are plenty of used book stores to peruse. we stumbled on http://www.buddenbrooks.com/  this place was amazing. the collections and number of first editions was just incredible. but it was also expensive. and when i say expensive i am talking luis vuitton ball park. there were collections that started at twelve hundred dollars. so you can only imagine the trauma and absolute mortification when i knocked over a starbucks grande green tea onto a bookshelf. you can only imagine how i panicked and tried to throw my body on top of the pile of tea as we all watched as the water crept, as if in slow motion, over the bookshelf, falling onto first edition, hand illustrated copies of don quixote.  you can only imagine the terror that swept through me, as i tried to rip the books off the shelf to prevent any more water damage. you can only imagine how awkward it must have been for our friends as they stood there helplessly. and you can only imagine me sobbing over the already water damaged, thousdands of dollars worth of antique collector's item books, as i wiped with paper towels and my sweatshirt sleeves. i was alternating between sobbing and whimpering out of embarassment and terror. there i was, kneeling on the floor of this amazing and expensive bookstore, having caused what i imagine was thousands of dollars worth of damage. there i was expecting to have to line up all our credit cards to spread out the cost of our new antique books collection, when the store owner came over and calmly told me not to panic. this man must have kids. he was beyond gracious. (maybe my sobbing had something to do with it). he assured me that this happens to everyone, of course this didn't happen to mark or miriam or david, but to me. of course. he assured me that the pages themselves were not damaged and he could fix the leather covers of all the books. and he would not even accept my offer to pay for the repair of the leather covers. you would be right if you imagined we left shortly thereafter. we definitely did not stay to browse after that incident. the thing is, it's really not entirely my fault. it was rainy and cold out, so we had to make a stop at starbucks. when we got to the bookstore - it was the kind of store where you had to knock on the door and have the store owner unlock the door to let you in - we offered to leave our drinks at the door, but the owner himself told us to just place them on top of the counter-height bookshelf. i'm sure he has since changed his food and beverage in the store policy. and i am no longer allowed in used book stores.

8) downton abbey. oh downton abbey. this got me through the eight hour train ride home and i'm almost all caught up. i powered through all but the season two finale. a certain friend tried to spoil it for me and told me the entire estate gets hit with a meteor!! well it hasn't happened yet, so i guess it must hit at the very end of the season finale! i wonder who will survive...no doubt the dowager, as if a meteor could stop her. i'm already looking forward to season three, which i only just learned does not air in the u.s. until january 2013!!! what will i do until then?!

the thing about elephants

having a semi-autistic spectrum like memory has its benefits. i can quote movies line for line. i can remember facts from the 5th grade. i am the one phone call you would make when you're on "who wants to be a millionaire." chances are if i've seen it, read it, or heard it in passing, i will remember. just one of my special quirks i guess.

the downside, of course is, i also happen to remember EVERY SINGLE TIME husband has wronged me.  it's actually impossible for me to forget and so what we have now is a snow ball effect. one small hurt remembered forever. the next hurt added onto that, and then the next and then the next, and before you know it, i'm up late at night stewing about bad patterns of behavior and how it could be i ended up with such an insensitive brute. by this time, my stomach hurts, and it's two a.m. and i can't sleep, meanwhile husband is blissfully snoring next to me. which only makes matters worse! how did i end up here - about ready to reach over for something sharp and stab my husband in the arm? (hey, at least i didn't say eye or heart)

for once an old addage is NOT applicable. remember this one?: "to err is human, to forgive is divine." well actually the first half is most certainly true. we all err, and if i'm being honest, i've erred against my husband plenty of times. but forgiveness is mostly human too. it doesn't take too much effort for us mere mortals to forgive, especially to forgive someone we love dearly. maybe it takes some of us longer to forgive, but eventually we i get there. what is truly divine is forgiving and forgetting.

it's this forgetting thing i struggle with. each time there's a new hurt, memories of all the old hurts return and suddenly they are so fresh. this morning, i waged a fierce internal battle with the LJ (Lord Jesus). it went like this:

Grace: LJ, i'm just upset and hurt and i can't let go. he ALWAYS does this.
LJ: I'm here. I'm listening.
Grace: are you?! are you really listening? because i am considering a host of repercussions {conveniently ommitted from this blog so you, my dear readers, are shielded from the depths of my evil nature}
LJ: Grace, you have a choice. move on, forgive and forget.
Grace: but LJ, i can't forget. i can't. i thought You said You were listening? didn't You hear me say, I CAN'T LET GO??
LJ: grace, you need to calm down. I'm here, I'm listening. you are working yourself up into a tizzy. I can feel your stomach burning.
Grace: but i can't. i'm just too hurt.
LJ: grace, remember, I have forgiven and forgotten all your sins. how would you feel if I remembered each time you failed, each time you made a mistake, each time you hurt Me?
Grace: really LJ? You went there? i mean, what can i say to that? clearly You have a valid point. but i can't. help me get there. i'm not like You.
LJ: yes you are. you have My life in you. My life is able to forgive and forget.
Grace: ok, let's say we do this forgive, forget thing. then what happens? he'll just do it again. trust me Lord, i know him. then we'll be having this conversation AGAIN.
LJ: I know him too. and I know you. I have forgiven and forgotten for you both. and I'm ok if and when we have this conversation again.
Grace: fine LJ, You win - sort of. i won't poison his dinner tonight, but You have to keep working in me to achieve this forgive and forget thing.

i'm still not there yet. but there's some thawing of the ice that formed around my heart.

the upside of restlessness at two a.m., i finally started watching downton abbey. honestly, i couldn't even get through episode one of the first season. i couldn't follow the conversation. it would be easier if they lost the british accent. (and this is coming from me. i have a thing for british accents! if husband had one, i'm sure it would help with the forgive and forget thing). thoughts? should i power through and keep watching??

the white rabbit

I've noticed something. I'm late.  I'm late .  For a very important date.  No time to say "Hello, Goodbye". I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. NO. I. AM. NOT. THAT. KIND. OF. LATE. I'm T.V.-"late." And I have only one person to thank for this epiphany. The ever-lovely Schmes, otherwise known as Leslie, beautiful mother, former college roommate, and still beloved cold hard truth teller friend of mine.



isn't she gorgeous?



About two months ago, I got this random Schmes text: "Gracie. Have you been watching Downton Abbey? Because I found your British Twin. You are Mary Crawley!!" In case you haven't noticed, I'm asian american - jet black hair, squinty eyes, and cursed with conjunctive torso longitis*. How can she and I be twins? Does she look like me? Do i look like her? hey, that would't be such a bad thing.

                                            

Perhaps Schmes meant in character? So I did a little research and this is what I found out about Lady Mary Crawley: "She is feisty and is quite shallow and mean at times, but she cares greatly for her family and friends; even their servants. Mary is used to getting all the attention, especially from men as her parents are trying to marry her off." OH. Yeah. There it is. I see the twin similarity now.

But alas, I digress. Back to my entertainment-lateness. This is a trend Schmes has brought to light. Each year, with a few exceptions, I stand my rebel ground and refuse to join entertainment bandwagons. Only to be utterly disgraced a year or years later. Shall I parade some of my most valiant efforts for you all?

harry potter. book 2. i was a freshman in college when i caught wind of the great HP. seriously? this is a children's book. it cannot be that great. i go to cal don't you know. this is the place where great philosophers are produced. pass me the proust (nose in air). since i seem to be living proof of adages, let me throw this one in: pride goes before the

F

A 

L

L.

 (only it was so much of a steeper fall) summer after my freshman year, i was bored out of my mind at home and picked up big brother's copy of HP 2: chamber of secrets. I'm no longer ashamed to admit this, I could not put it down. in fact, i went out and bought book 1 so i could catch up, even though the first fifty pages of book 2 sums up book 1. The only thing that allows me to still hold my head high is that i can say, i never waited in line for the midnight release of the next HP book.

then there was LOST. I am not into sci-fi. So when LOST was all the rage during its first season, when the internet was ablaze with theories, i refused. refused to start the show. At the end of the second season, husband's old roommate (a.k.a. the son we never wanted) convinced us to watch just the pilot episode, since he had the first season dvd. i'm not going to lie. we pulled an all nighter, missed church the next morning, cause we watched straight on through (i think, on the upside, this says something about my commitment). and by the end of it, we were humming that creepy credits song. don't pretend. you all know what i'm talking about and i know it's playing through your head now.

a year before i got married, i was sitting on the stoop of a friend as we watched her then 1 year old son play with his dad. she whispered to me, "grace, i'm so tired. i stayed up late last night reading the twilight series on my computer." i looked at her in horror and unconcealed judgment. i think i may have said something like this, "wow, glo, it's about vampires. VAMPIRES. teenage vampires right?? i think i've lost a little respect for you." fast forward to three months ago, when out of boredom i picked up the first book in the series and could not put it down. (i'd again like to highlight my commitment) i finished the series in four days. vampires, love, teenagers? yes please. i'll take two. what can i say? TEAM EDWARD =D

and now there is downton abbey. i guess the question is no longer to downton abbey or not to downton abby, but when to hop on the downton abbey bandwagon?

*conjunctive torso longitis: extremely long torso paired with short stubby legs.