when you can't beat 'em, you join 'em

i'd like to dedicate this post to my girl b. the otherday, we had an off and on text conversation for an hour, about deep things, like the game candy crush. (side note, yes, i said an hour conversation via text. i hate phone conversations. i'm either all or nothing. if i can't have a face-to-face conversation with you, i'd prefer to be as impersonal as possible, so please just text me. of course this makes no sense whatsover, but hey, that's my modus operandi).

you should be impressed that two moms, both having five month olds, could carry on a text conversation for over an hour. those of you without babies, you just go on not appreciating having the use of both your hands, at all times. 

we were discussing how awesomely useless our husbands can be as a result of candy crush. not just useless in the "babe, please take out the trash," and he responds, "uh huh..ok [glazed look staring at fake candies dropping down his computer screen]" way. i mean also useless in the, "it's eleven pm, the baby is asleep, time for us to have our quality deep conversations" emotional kind of way. 

sample deep conversation:

me: babe, i'm fat

husband: uh huh...[trill of candies vanishing off the screen in the foreground]

me: babe, i'm talking to you about important things

husband: i'm listening...oh crap, i only have four more moves to get the cherry down to the bottom

me: forget it, i'm going to bed

husband: no no no. i'm listening. really. [pushes the button to start a new round]

see what i mean? candy crush had been threatening my marital bliss for weeks. so the other night, as husband lay in bed, gleefully playing to the sound of candies vanishing, i scooted on over and peeked over at the game. what's this? intriguing!!! and there i was, telling the hubs which candies to switch around, and before you knew it, together, we had beat a round of candy crush. i knew we were invincible as a team, and clearly, candy crush proves it. and now i've crossed over to the dark side. candy crush here i come. sorry b. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

now eleven pm quality time around here, is us laying side by side, shouting candy crush moves at each other. i'm convinced this is what long lasting marriages are built out of - marital candy crush teamwork. please feel free to email me for more marital advice. i'm an expert ;)

now excuse me while i go brush up on my candy crush skills. i've got a date around eleven tonight and i can't let my partner down.

wuv. twu wuv.

this week, husband has worked late every single night, to midnight or later. it's hard for me. i hate being alone. and i don't have a car. so when husband works late, it's unpleasant for everyone involved, which incidentally is only me. so i was thrilled - tickled pink really - when husband called me last night at 7:05 pm to tell me he was on his way home. and to top it off, he asked me out on a date. sigh. be still my swooning, beating heart.

when husband said "date", i didn't realize he meant for me to go as a chaperon for him and his dear love, his phone, a.k.a. lolita jr. jr.

and when even lolita jr. jr. couldn't keep his undivided attention anymore, husband called comcast to discuss the speed of our internet service.

i tell you, if this doesn't get a girl's heart racing, i just don't know what does.  back off ladies, this guy is all mine (sort of).

happy friday!

friday night lights

the thing about monday through thursday is, friday always comes. no matter how bad your week is, no matter how much work your director dumps on you (hypothetically speaking of course), no matter how much the week has dragged, friday always arrives in full splendor. i don't know how friday does it, but it's  magical. on fridays, the air is sweeter, food tastes better, and time goes by faster.

husband and i have lived in arlington for four years and this is the first time we went to the rosslyn film festival. a few thoughts on this. it really was the perfect night. not too hot, not too cold, a light breeze, and fabulous company and the cheese, OH THE CHEESE!

BUT, it was a really horrible movie. uncomfortable actually. obscene. i asked the hubs to describe the movie in one word and this is the word he chose: crap. it was "election." now, for full disclosure, i love me some reese witherspoon. she is the reason that it is socially acceptable for women over the age of 10 to love the color pink - hot, hot pink! and she may or may not have been 30% of why i went to law school... (non-last season black pradas as a first year? where do i sign up?!) neither reese nor friday's magic could transform this movie. 

this friday was saved by olive oil, cheese, and above all, the great company.

this guy could so be the next 007. move over daniel craig.

is there any better to way to start the weekend than discussing the acceptable dimensions of an inflatable movie screen for your hypothetical nine acre lot of property? the answer is clearly no, and that's why our weekend is going to be awesome. because this is exactly how we started the evening. conclusion:  we will need a much, much bigger screen than this one.

HAPPY WEEKEND!