the nanny diaries

today, alexander met his nanny, we call her miss lulu. she came a week before i go back into the office so that we could sort of play a game of shadows. she shadowed me to see how i like things done, and what schedule we keep him on, and i shadowed her, like one of those nanny cams, but only super visible. to be honest, it was sort of lovely. i had the chance to run out to the bank, and only had to grab my wallet. when was the last time i did that? and i was able to put dinner together without but one nursing interruption. but at the end of the night, long after nanny lulu left, long after husband and i put alexander down for bed, it hit me, i hardly spent time with my baby today. and it ached a little. husband says, "well babe, you won't be spending time with alexander when you're in the office." husband had to go all logically cruel and rational on me. i just looked at him with my, "ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY?!?!?!" look - yes, there is an actual look which i have perfected. 

so now, while husband sits at the kitchen counter, playing a game on his phone, i've been perusing pictures of alexander from the day he was born. apparently, husband is not trying to make me cry; turns out, I AM TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF CRY. but seriously, is it possible that my baby was ever this small? 

the twist is, i never thought i would like motherhood, much less love it. i honestly viewed it more as an inconvenience. and i never thought i would want to be a stay at home mom, but now i want to be one of those women that i use to pity. now, i would give anything to be that woman whose universe orbits around her baby. so tomorrow, i am going to snuggle him a little bit more, kiss on him a few extra kisses, and maybe hold him through one of his naps, babywise be damned. cause my days are numbered. 

remember....?

what's that thing called? the thing that comes between friday and monday? what is it again? oh yeah, a weekend? remember that? and remember what we use to do on weekends? sleep in until the sun was setting? it is all a vague blurry memory now.

remember staying up past midnight?

remember having time to do laundry?

remember watching tv?

remember having time to make the bed? 

ok that last one never really happened even before mr. alexander came into our lives, but you get the picture. i had the luxury of time and freedom to make the bed if i had been disciplined enough to do it. 

now "weekends" consist of pretty much the same thing as the week. wake up, feed a baby, wipe his poopy butt, play with him, make silly noises and silly faces. wipe his butt. cross our fingers that we do not get pooped on. we don't sweat being pee'd on anymore. diaper that cute little butt, and try to put him down for a nap. all this before 7:30 a.m. if we start this ritual at 7:30 a.m., we have "slept in." and it is glorious! not having to get up on a saturday until 7:30! and even feeling well rested. 

i can't remember the last time we stayed up past midnight. once the little dictator goes down for the night, i start counting how many hours i have to sleep before having to wake up between four and five a.m. those four and a half hours of sleep go by way too quickly to squander on something as frivolous as staying up past midnight.

laundry?? what does having clean clothing feel like? now, we throw clothes in the wash. it ruminates for a few days, and when someone finally remembers to put them in the dryer, they need to be washed again. if we're lucky enough to get our own clothes in the dryer, then, out they come into a basket they go, where they live unhappily ever after - not fulfilling their wrinkle free destiny. but the dictator's clothes? they get washed, almost daily, and folded. 

tv...ah yes tv. i suspect the next time we watch our tv, it will be a machine that the smithsonian will ask to be donated for an exhibit. 

but honestly, i don't really miss my old life. i mean, really, for this face, i will pretty much do anything. wouldn't you???

indulge me won't you?

 

i am going to go out on a limb on this lovely, sunny, breezy friday and guess that you all want to see pictures of my adorable not-so-new-anymore baby boy. this week, we retired the newborn onesies. it was like taking a bullet straight to the heart. stop growing so fast baby boy. could you please stay warm, fuzzy, and cuddly forever? except with the ability to sleep through the night?

 

without further ado, please indulge me, and yourselves, quite frankly, in the many faces of adc.

a little video

nicky b has come for a visit and we are already up to our old shenanigans. this morning, papa, momma, and alexander woke up to this lovely trailer courtesy of nicky b productions:

we cannot wait to see what other fun projects auntie nicolle has cooked up for us this week!

p.s. is my son not the adorable-est???

there is no gracie here

when alexander first came out, husband said to me, "babe, he looks just like you." but after that first hour, visitor after visitor, family member after family member has said that my son, you know, the one i carried for nine months. the one that i bore. the one that ruined me down there (i will NOT get into the gory details), yes that one, is the spitting image of my husband. and up until this morning's four a.m. feeding, i refused to believe it. 

here's a picture of my sweet baby boy at just over one week old, sleeping blissfully away.


and early this morning, when i woke for alexander's four thirty a.m. feeding, this man was laying next to me.

i guess i must finally accept that this sweet boy of mine is the spitting image of his papa. there is no mama in there, except for maybe the hair, which is getting lighter by the day. but it is more than ok, because these are my two favorite sleeping faces.

about a boy

we've been absent from the blog for a while, but for good reason:

alexander david carlson

born april 6, 2013 at 8:11 a.m.

7 lbs 1 oz of pure perfection

21 inches

new dad so in love with adc. getting in his first of many many nosey noseys

new mom cannot get enough of her baby. getting in some snuggling.

what we know about alexander so far:

1) he arrived two days early which suggests that like his momma, he is aware of time and considers being early the same as being on time. (whew...was real worried he would get the anti-punctuality carlson gene on this one!)

2) even though he came early, mom had to push for three and a half hours before alexander decided to wake up and come on out. this most certainly means that like his daddy, he's a difficult one to wake up.

3) his favorite time of the day is night, specifically between midnight and three thirty a.m. i cannot express the "joy" daddy and mommy experience during these hours.

4) he has daddy's squinty eyes.

5) he is perfect and smells divine! seriously, somebody bottle this up and let's market this eau de parfum!

things accomplished

on this 39th week plus a day of pregnancy, i have tallied recent accomplishments.

1. i have cleared the major hurdle of having a march baby and thus having to share birthday month. despite husband's best efforts to get me to go on a long walk on sunday, thanks to my extreme pelvic aches, which can only be described as feeling like i fractured or sprained my crotch every time i move, i politely declined. of course, whenever husband is eager to go on one of my beloved long walks, there is most certainly a plot behind it. this time, he was hoping to dethrone me from being queen of march. but my rule remains untouched. 

2. i have cleared the hurdle of having an april fool's baby. i am not sure why i was so worried about this, but i just was.  i also am not sure why i count this as an accomplishment, but feeling morbidly obese as i do these days, just indulge me.

3. last night, i packed up husband's snack pack for our trip to the hospital. you know full of healthy things like barbeque flavored chips, salt and vinegar chips, milk chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels, Trader Joe O's, and a bag of marshmallows. 

4. by 10:30 a.m. i had fried up bacon, toasted waffles, and scrubbed the stove (see below for proof of cleanliness!)

unfortunately, there remains a list of things to do:

1. put laundry away:

and it looks like i need to make the bed as well.

2. get dressed, do hair, and make up. (picture of me in XL tshirt, with hair a mess and makeup-less face NOT included)